whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
