I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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