I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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