Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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