guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
