Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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