hotel room ftw
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
