Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
