hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
