I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
