idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
