Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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