i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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