yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
