i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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