im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
