Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
