She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
