I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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