I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
