hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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