Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
