her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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