that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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