I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
