you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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