I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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