Just invented taco cereal.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
