We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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