So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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