just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
