P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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