i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
