i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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