i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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