Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
