So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
