Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
