yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
