How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
