she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
