I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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