he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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