Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
