im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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