Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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