i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
