At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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