SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
this will be a night to untag.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
