did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
